Oh, brother!
by saoirse09
Summary: This is not, I repeat, NOT, a shonen-ai/yaoi YnM fic at ALL. If you don't like it, don't read it. Just a little brotherly love,cuz there is not enough here,between Tsuzuki and Hisoka, a little humor, a little fluff, hopefully y'all like it. Please review


_"Oh, brother!" – A Yami no Matsuei one-shot by Saoirse_

**A/N:** Oh, btw, this story was probably most inspired by YnM volume 8, chapter 2, page 30, as found on mangafox .com. The address of the actual page is

http:// www. mangafox .com/ manga/ yami _ no _ matsuei/ v08/ c002/ 30 .html (and that'll have to be typed in, without any of the spaces, b/c it kept deleting the link, so i had to type it in all broken up).

It's a lovely picture with some lovely text, as well. :) Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**

Author: Every word in this story is absolutely true, written down exactly as it was told me by those involved.

Hisoka: Don't lie, Saoirse. Besides, your readers would never believe that; they know we're fictional.

Tsuzuki: We're fictional???? *gets sad* No one ever told me that…

Hisoka: Here's a cookie, Tsuzuki. *hands him one*

Tsuzuki: *brightening considerably* COOKIE!!!!!!

Author: Dang, I forgot you guys were here. Why'd you have to go saying that, Hisoka? Now they'll never believe me!

Hisoka: *stares at author, one eyebrow raised* Do I really need to answer that?

Author: Eep! Erm, no, sir!

Hisoka: Now, aren't you forgetting something?

Author: Um, no?

Hisoka: *stares again*

Author: Fine, be that way. *speaking mechanically* I do not own Yami no Matsuei or any of its characters. They all belong to Yoko Matsushita. I do, however, own the plot of this story. Happy now, Hisoka?

Hisoka: You're still forgetting something your readers may want to know.

Author: I am? *thinks* Oh, yeah! There will be nothing even resembling shonen-ai in this story, let alone yaoi. There will be only feelings of familial love between all same gender characters. And Hisoka will not be appearing in a dress. If you don't like it, read something else. There, am I done?

Hisoka: Took you long enough.

Author: *sticks tongue out at Hisoka when he's not looking*

Hisoka: You know I know you did that, right?

Author: *mutters* Stupid empath. Anyways, on to the story!

**Japanese Word Translation List**

-Shinigami: guardian of death, retrieves lost and wandering souls from the mortal realm

-baka: moron, idiot

-ne: hey

-Shikigami: creature of power, can be called upon to defend its master and fight his foes, Tsuzuki controls 12 shiki

-nii-san: older brother

-ototo-kun: younger brother

**"Oh, brother!"**

Kurosaki Hisoka was suspicious. No, nothing was actually wrong; in fact, something was right. But it was exactly there where the problem lay. Hisoka's partner, Tsuzuki Asato, was actually doing his paperwork.

Now, anyone who knows Tsuzuki can tell you why this was so strange; the Shinigami was infamously known as the laziest person in Meifu, the land of the dead. But today, Tsuzuki had arrived to work even earlier than Hisoka (a first in the 2 years they'd worked together) and had been working since he clocked in, according to Tatsumi. (A/N: apparently, Tatsumi goes to work at dawn, so he's there before everyone else. o.O)

Of course, Hisoka didn't _exactly_ mind that his partner was, for once, doing his share of the deskwork. He hated the required reports and filling out forms as much as the next Shinigami, so it always bothered him when Tsuzuki got away with his laziness. All the baka had to do was turn his full puppy-dog pout on Tatsumi, and the cold, uptight "Shadow Master" melted like butter. So Hisoka should have been glad that Tsuzuki was proving that pigs _do_ fly and blue moons occur, apparently both at the same time. (A/N: Yes, that is how rare it is for Tsuzuki to do any sort of office work.)

Well, then, why was the young Shinigami so suspicious? Because he knew his partner, that was why. Hisoka had learned from experience that Tsuzuki only did paperwork of any kind when he was deep in thought or, as was more common of the rare occurrence, when he wanted something. 'And when the baka wants something,' thought Hisoka, resignedly, 'he usually wants it from me.'

Therefore, Kurosaki Hisoka was suspicious. He kept glancing at his partner, trying to gauge Tsuzuki's emotions and intentions, both the outwardly expressed and the inward, empathically-read (A/N: like any good empath, Hisoka compares physically expressed emotions and inward feelings because it gives a more accurate reading. Perhaps it reveals hidden deception, ne? ). But, for some reason, Tsuzuki was shielding. Upon discovering this, Hisoka became even more suspicious; Tsuzuki was hardly ever able to control his emotions well enough to hide them, unless he was really trying or very, very deep in thought (A/N: and we all know that our Tsuzuki isn't in _that_ state very often, don't we?). Usually, the child-like Shinigami just let his emotions spill over and run everywhere like an overflowing bathtub. And then Hisoka became worried (actually scared, though he'll never admit it) because his thoughts had just flashed to an awful memory. It was a vision of Tsuzuki surrounded by the black flames of his Shikigami Touda, welcoming true death with open arms. The horrific vision brought actual, physical pain to the young Guardian of Death, who had realized during the episode that he needed his partner more than he'd like to admit.

Kurosaki Hisoka was conflicted; he knew he had to ask Tsuzuki what was up because he couldn't stand the idea of another Kyoto incident. But he had no clue how to get his partner to open up if something were truly wrong. That was one thing about Tsuzuki that always troubled Hisoka: he was always digging into others' problems, but refused to discuss his own.

Lost in his musings, panic, and work, Hisoka didn't even notice when Tsuzuki looked up, put down his pen, and began studying his partner. So it was completely out of the blue (to Hisoka, that is, though the statement is pretty unanticipated, too) when Tsuzuki began to speak.

"You know, Hisoka, I never had a brother."

Hisoka looked up, jolted out of his reverie by the absolute abruptness of the statement. This was not what he'd been expecting to hear, and that staggered him a tiny bit. So he offered a typical Hisoka-like response, a little biting and slightly condescending.

"Yeah, neither did I. So what?"

Tsuzuki just smiled, knowing his young friend disliked the unexpected, and responded, "Well, I just wanted to warn you that I might not be very good at it."

Now Hisoka was really confused. He had no clue what his crazy partner was talking about. And Hisoka liked being confused even less than he liked the unexpected; it usually made him mad and insulting. (Author: Tsuzuki, you know that! So why'd you confuse him? You just like to provoke him, I think. Tsuzuki: *all innocence* Who, me? Author: Yes, you. I don't see anyone else named Tsuzuki here. Tsuzuki: *puppy-dog pouts* Author: Oh no, not that! Anything but that! Aaaaaaaah! *runs off, screaming* Tsuzuki: *smiles angelically* This has been a paid presentation by our wonderful author. Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.)

Now, when Hisoka was confused (and thus mad as all get-out), his mouth and his mind tended to disconnect, resulting in sarcastic comments and insults he didn't really mean. Add to that his fierce relief that Tsuzuki apparently wasn't considering suicide again and you got this, "Good at what? You're not making any sense. Is your brain really so illogical that everything you say is absurd??? Baka."

Of course, Hisoka immediately regretted saying this, but Tsuzuki didn't seem fazed a bit. He knew his partner well enough to read him like an open book, even without empathic abilities. Since he knew Hisoka was only upset because he was confused (A/N: ah, confusion, that hated emotion!), Tsuzuki merely smiled seraphically and replied, "Why, at being a big brother, of course. I don't have any experience at it, so I might make a lot of mistakes."

Hisoka became even more confused (A/N: oh, how fun it is to agitate Hisoka!). He still didn't understand what the crazy baka was getting at. So he sighed, resigning himself to befuddlement and asking for an explanation. 'Honestly,' he thought. 'Getting Tsuzuki to be sensible is like pulling teeth!' Shaking his head in disgust, he declared, "You're as confusing as ever, Tsuzuki. Who's big bro…? Oh…" Suddenly he stopped, realization dawning like the sun. "You mean you're my…" He trailed off, wide-eyed and speechless.

Kurosaki Hisoka was stunned. To think that his partner, Asato Tsuzuki, the big child of the Shokan department, the famously oblivious one, could see exactly how Hisoka felt, could tell what he most needed, and even more than that, was freely offering it, left him slack-jawed and blank. 'A family,' thought the young Shinigami. 'He's offering me a family, to be my big brother, to give me what my own flesh and blood withheld from me.' As the idea slowly reached his benumbed brain, he looked at Tsuzuki, who was nodding happily, his gently smile transformed into a big grin. And then something truly rare happened; Hisoka smiled. And this was not his usual half-smile, an unenthusiastic response used to placate Tsuzuki. No, this was a real smile, full, warm, and beaming. Hisoka looked truly happy and this made Tsuzuki even happier. Without quite knowing why, the joy of a joyful Hisoka brought tears to Tsuzuki's eyes and he realized he desperately wanted to hug his "little brother." But he hesitated, knowing how little the young man liked physical contact with anyone.

He needn't have bothered to worry. As soon as Tsuzuki had emerged from his deep thoughts about brotherhood and told Hisoka what he was thinking, Hisoka had been able to again sense his partner's emotions. And, as soon as he realized his "older brother" was conflicted between selfishly hugging him and considerately keeping his distance, Hisoka made the decision for him. Standing and walking over to Tsuzuki, he flung his arms around him, shocking Tsuzuki (and himself), but determined to show his nii-san how much he appreciated the gift of family, a gift that had been denied him his entire life. Besides, he needed some way to hide the tears that were suddenly dripping from his eyes, pouring out and releasing every hurt he'd ever experienced from his "family" in the 16 years he'd been alive.

For a few minutes, the tableau held, a picture as old as time, a young boy seeking comfort from his older brother. (A/N: And, of course, all us fan girls just love to look at it because Hisoka and Tsuzuki are so pretty, right?) But then Hisoka broke his death grip to wipe the tears from his eyes, and Tsuzuki pretended not to notice his ototo-kun had been crying, knowing Hisoka would appreciate that.

Looking at the man who had just declared him a family member, someone to be loved and protected (something Hisoka's biological family would never have even considered telling him), he tried to find the right words to express his gratitude. "Tsuzuki… I, I just…"

But Tsuzuki merely shook his head. "It's all right, Hisoka. You don't have to tell me what I already know. Alright?"

Hisoka nodded mutely, wiping fresh tears from his cheeks. (Author: Once you let the little buggers out, they just don't stop. Do they, Hisoka? Hisoka: *blushes furiously* I thought you promised not to mention the crying! Author: But it's just too cute! Hisoka: *sulks* Whatever. Author: Ooh, it's so easy to provoke you! *pokes him in forehead* I love it! Hisoka: Oh, yeah? Well, I could just tell everyone about the time you *whispers in her ear* Author: *horrified* No, don't! I beg you, anything but that! *suddenly realizes something* Ha, you can't! Hisoka: *raises eyebrow* And why not? Author: Because I'm the author, so I choose what to write! Mwahahahahahahahahaha! Hisoka: *shrugs, speaks to readers* Well, it was worth a shot!)

After one last quick hug, Tsuzuki changed the subject. Brightly, he declared, "Well, then, we'd better get back to work before Tatsumi sees us idle."

Again nodding mutely, Hisoka moved back to his desk and restarted his paperwork. The two Shinigami worked in contented silence for a while, but then Tsuzuki looked up again. Clearing his throat he said seriously, "Ne, 'soka, can I ask you something?"

Concern prickling in response to Tsuzuki's serious tone of voice, Hisoka nodded and replied, "Sure. We _are_ brothers, after all."

Still deadly serious, Tsuzuki answered, "I was hoping you'd say that. So, since we are brothers now, could you, would you, please, tell Tatsumi that I need my food allowance raised?" When Hisoka just stared at him blankly, Tsuzuki pouted and whined. "I just can't survive on only 3000 yen a day! Not if I get dessert, and I have to get dessert because need my sugar!"

Hisoka, though no longer worried, just looked at his partner, disbelief and amusement, both at Tsuzuki's food-obsessed mind, warring within him. First opening his mouth to make some cutting remark, he paused for a moment, and then closed it. Shaking his head in resigned amusement, he looked at his brother's seriously hopeful face and burst out laughing. After a minute, Tsuzuki realized the hilarity of the situation and began to chuckle, too. They laughed together for a while, finally calming down enough to get back to work. Still laughing quietly to himself, Hisoka glanced at his partner, then, realizing fully what he had gotten himself into, just shook his head, smiled, and murmured, "Oh, brother!"


End file.
